My mother, my friend, my teacher of all things crafty passed away Monday in the early morning hours. Already I feel the holes. I have these moments of thinking “I’ll call mom.” and then I can’t. Or I’ll have thoughts of something coming up and realize mom won’t be there to share in it. I know it will take time but there is an emptiness I don’t know what to do with now. I suppose that will always be there. There are times today even after 16 years that I miss my dad so terribly. Mostly when the kids accomplish something or are engaged in their craziness that is our family.
So, today I choose to remember mom. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep I started thinking of some of my best memories of mom. One that comes to mind in recent years is our trip to Disneyland. It was Thanksgiving break, mom’s birthday and her first trip to Disneyland. We rented a van, piled her, the grand-kids, my brother and sister-in-law into a rented van and made the drive from Napa to Los Angeles. We weren’t’ too far down the highway with me driving and mom riding shot-gun when I realized everyone else was asleep. Those hours while everything was quiet and the highway stretched before us, mom and I just talked. Just casual conversation but there was just something about the sun coming up and us on the road that was soothing and comforting. Thanksgiving day brought mom’s birthday, her first trip to Disneyland and a memory I’ll always cherish.
When mom made the decision to enter into hospice we all met at the hospital. I think we knew that it wouldn’t be long before she was gone. After we escorted her as a family from ICU to a more comfortable room we waited outside while the care staff got her settled. In those moments of realized upcoming grief stories of mom were shared. Now… my mom was feisty…. so the stories shared were of her lighter, somewhat irreverent and oft times moments that shocked us (particularly her oldest granddaughter, Heather). Without sharing backstory we now know that mom thinks us a “big sexy family”.
As you know from reading past posts that mom was a crafter. She taught me crochet, needlepoint, cross-stitch, embroidery, and all sorts of other crafts. I taught her card making and scrapbooking. I’m so glad that I had a mother who tapped into her creative juices.
Mom was an A’s fan. She was a Red Hatter. She was one of my kid’s biggest cheerleaders. She was a nursing assistant who went back to school to get her LVN license and graduated from nursing school the same month I graduated from High School. She was a wife, daughter, mother, grandmother and friend. She’ll be missed greatly (already is).